Frustration: being unable to function as you once did
G'day all...This comment was posted recently and I thought I'd try and address is here. I don't know who posted it because you didn't leave a name or email address. Pity.
Hi, my 43yr old husband was diagnosed with wegeners about a year ago. So far the symptoms have not been too bad. He seemed to be symptom free until recently. Its so hard to see a very athletic, physical man who, aside from a runny nose and eyes that look like cherry tomatoes sit around and be unable to do any thing. I know it bothers him to see me doing all of the yard work and stuff is there something that some one may have said to you to make it easier and less frustrating for you?
I can definitely understand that. It is incredibly frustrating being forced to sit and do nothing. I had exactly the same experience, having to watch my wife do much of the work and also pay other people to do the work that I should have been doing. I wasn't athletic by any means but I was leading your typical type-A existence doing everything at once then crunch, I hit the ol' WG brick wall.
There were two things that the nurses in the hospital (and a few other people) said to me that helped (not much but they helped all the same).
1. Three steps forward and two steps back
Sounds really positive doesn't it?? NOT! I thought that until I realised that the more I am aware that any progress I made would be tempered with a setback or two, the more realistic I became and the more I noticed that I was moving forward. The more time went on, the more it became 4 steps forward, two steps back, 5 steps forward, one step back etc.
2. Baby steps/Celebrate the positive
Relates closely to the first in that progress will be slow but it will still be progress. Make a fuss when something positive happens no matter how small. "Look! I managed to walk the length of the hallway today without stopping! Break out the party poppers!!! WOOHOO!!!
In the end though, no matter what you say to someone, it has to come from within, from a positive outlook and from an awareness of the progress (no matter how small) that is being made. Oh man, I sound like Dr. Phil.
On a more practical note, can you afford to pay someone to do the yard work? Then you could both sit an watch. It's not an ideal solution I know. I don't know how badly your husband is affected but perhaps there's stuff that he can be doing while he's recuperating e.g. folding clothes, peeling potatoes, helping kids with homework etc.
Cherish what you have, not what you don't have. Life is everything, the rest will come with a subtle blend of planning, patience and brute force :-)
posted by Andrew MacLean @ 10:22 AM
6 comments
